Beautifully Imperfect

Sometimes it's hard to be with a Pastor's son. Now I'm not saying that he has always been perfect in his ways, but he has a love for God and a love for people that is just simply beautiful and amazing. He goes through these periods where he feels he is being called into ministry, where he wants to try harder to be a better person, a Man of God. And then life gets in the way and shoots that all down.

The point of this is not about him, but about me. DUH.Where does that leave me? Yes, I would love to be a nicer person, a good role model that people, especially young girls can look up to. I feel as if I have some already doing so (Kee's nieces). But, I do love to go out with my girls, dance like crazy, and have a few drinks. Believe me, I've had my crazy moments and I honestly believe I've calmed down...a lot! I think I'm over the whole "hey let's get drunk and go crazy" phase. But I do still like to go out and enjoy myself. So is there a balance? Can there be?

Kee has asked me many times if I feel like I have a calling in my life, as in a spiritual calling. I say "Yes. I'm a nurse." No, he says. Besides your job. Do you feel like you're called into ministry or to do things of God

And the answer is still the same. And it's become quite apparent to me in the past few months. I'm a nurse. It's my job, but it's a job I love to do. I'm an ICU nurse, where you see people at their worst. You see their hurting families who just need someone there for support, to talk to, to give them a tissue, or a reassuring smile or touch of the hand. And that's where my "ministry" comes in.

I've never been one to Bible thump. I feel uncomfortable praying out loud. I don't know the Bible. But if someone tells me they're a Christian, I will share with them my feelings and believes. They ask for a silent prayer, I'll do it. I'll be there for the patient, to take care of him or her as best I can. I'll make them comfortable, I'll treat them with kindess and respect. I'll be there for their family members if they need anything at all. That's my ministry and that's what I have been called to do.

i knew it...

i hate to say "i told you so..."

...so instead i'll just say "i knew it wouldn't last."

it's what they do.

my heart is breaking and aching for my husband. i hate to see him hurt because of family. but, it's how it is. it's what they do.

we'll see what happens in the next week though. it's like geez, c'mon...right before Christmas?! but, i guess i'm not surprised.

why i love my husband...

me: babe why don't you put on a movie?

kee: "ok"

i walk away and come back into the living room. i look at the tv...

are we watching ECLIPSE again?!

kee: "yeah, i thought you'd like that."

i did. =D

week in review (...so far...)

monday:

-got to go into the OR and watch my patient have open heart surgery. i literally was standing at the head of the bed with anesthesia staring into dude's open chest. it was awesome. and Dr. B and Dr. F are very nice in the OR.

-got rear-ended on the way  home from work. boo.

wednesday:

-finally got to catch up with my lovelies, Car & Mary. i needed them in my life. i missed them entirely too much.

today:

-finally got a response from the responsible party from the accident. today will be dedicated to getting estimates and hopefully getting the ball rolling so i can get my car fixed. i feel ghetto driving in my banged up car and feel as if everyone is staring at me.

i'm in the process of taking Christmas house pictures with all the decor and whatnot. will post a few up soon.

off to get the day started!