Beautifully Imperfect

Sometimes it's hard to be with a Pastor's son. Now I'm not saying that he has always been perfect in his ways, but he has a love for God and a love for people that is just simply beautiful and amazing. He goes through these periods where he feels he is being called into ministry, where he wants to try harder to be a better person, a Man of God. And then life gets in the way and shoots that all down.

The point of this is not about him, but about me. DUH.Where does that leave me? Yes, I would love to be a nicer person, a good role model that people, especially young girls can look up to. I feel as if I have some already doing so (Kee's nieces). But, I do love to go out with my girls, dance like crazy, and have a few drinks. Believe me, I've had my crazy moments and I honestly believe I've calmed down...a lot! I think I'm over the whole "hey let's get drunk and go crazy" phase. But I do still like to go out and enjoy myself. So is there a balance? Can there be?

Kee has asked me many times if I feel like I have a calling in my life, as in a spiritual calling. I say "Yes. I'm a nurse." No, he says. Besides your job. Do you feel like you're called into ministry or to do things of God

And the answer is still the same. And it's become quite apparent to me in the past few months. I'm a nurse. It's my job, but it's a job I love to do. I'm an ICU nurse, where you see people at their worst. You see their hurting families who just need someone there for support, to talk to, to give them a tissue, or a reassuring smile or touch of the hand. And that's where my "ministry" comes in.

I've never been one to Bible thump. I feel uncomfortable praying out loud. I don't know the Bible. But if someone tells me they're a Christian, I will share with them my feelings and believes. They ask for a silent prayer, I'll do it. I'll be there for the patient, to take care of him or her as best I can. I'll make them comfortable, I'll treat them with kindess and respect. I'll be there for their family members if they need anything at all. That's my ministry and that's what I have been called to do.

i knew it...

i hate to say "i told you so..."

...so instead i'll just say "i knew it wouldn't last."

it's what they do.

my heart is breaking and aching for my husband. i hate to see him hurt because of family. but, it's how it is. it's what they do.

we'll see what happens in the next week though. it's like geez, c'mon...right before Christmas?! but, i guess i'm not surprised.

why i love my husband...

me: babe why don't you put on a movie?

kee: "ok"

i walk away and come back into the living room. i look at the tv...

are we watching ECLIPSE again?!

kee: "yeah, i thought you'd like that."

i did. =D

week in review (...so far...)

monday:

-got to go into the OR and watch my patient have open heart surgery. i literally was standing at the head of the bed with anesthesia staring into dude's open chest. it was awesome. and Dr. B and Dr. F are very nice in the OR.

-got rear-ended on the way  home from work. boo.

wednesday:

-finally got to catch up with my lovelies, Car & Mary. i needed them in my life. i missed them entirely too much.

today:

-finally got a response from the responsible party from the accident. today will be dedicated to getting estimates and hopefully getting the ball rolling so i can get my car fixed. i feel ghetto driving in my banged up car and feel as if everyone is staring at me.

i'm in the process of taking Christmas house pictures with all the decor and whatnot. will post a few up soon.

off to get the day started!

I'm such a bitch...

No really, I am. I am going nuts over here. There are some serious family issues going on with the hubby's side of the family. Not that it's unusual. There is always something going on. DRAMA all of the time. At least all the family members are on the same side and speaking now, that's a plus.

I am tired of hearing about it all of the time.

Literally, for the past 2 weeks I have to deal with this crap...
 "Block your facebook so so-and-so doesn't find you."
"Are you busy? Yes? Can you do this...and this...and this...oh and if you have time this. It's for the good of the family."

I call hubby to say hi. He says he can't talk to me. Then I find out he's been on the phone for 3 hours with either his mom, sister, dad, other sister.

I know this is a serious situation going on (and I wish I could speak freely about it so that you all don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion). But really, I'm getting annoyed that this is all we are talking about every single day. And now he's bringing up the idea of moving his sister and her teenage son and pre-teen daughter in with us til they find a place of their own?
I don't want to be a bitch. I understand they need a place to stay, but c'mon now. We have not been married for a month yet and now you want to do all this? I want to pull my hair out.

Looking forward to work tomorrow so I can a.) escape this house for 12 hours. and b.) go out for a night on the town with some of my work girls and not come back to this situation til Saturday.

end rant.

Okay forreals this time....

Yes! I'm married! Our wedding was on Oct 23. Despite the rain and having to move the ceremony indoors last minute, it was perfect. The photobooth was a huge hit. Everyone had a crazy fun time dancing. I could not have been happier. I have the most amazing, uh, husband (still weird saying that). My bridesmaids looked gorgeous! And all the people we love and love us back were together on a most amazing night.
Here's a preview of the professional photos done by our amazing photographer, Brittany Dewester

And our photo booth pic. =)



I'm married!!

...and sick. more later. peace.

OH YEAH! 10 DAYS YEAAAH!

...I'm getting married in 10 days...

After 10 years of dating, 2 years of being engaged, 1 year of planning...Keenan and I are finally getting married. I'm a little stressed now that it's starting to come down to the wire, but not as badly as I thought I would be. Finances are getting me more stressed than anything. Buying a home AND planning a wedding were NOT a good idea, but at least after this is all done, we can save up. And then we can really focus on building our life together as "the married ones."

Thanks to my lovely ladies for a crazy ass Bachelorette weekend. We laughed, we CRIED, we drank...and drank, we relaxed, we fist-pumped. It definitely was a weekend to try and remember. =)

"no tiaras allowed"

Joc, Jo, Stev, Car, Gen, Mar, Tiff. & ME.

best.bachelorette.group.EVER.

bridesmaids...and girls since high school/college. SAC DAYS.

MOH.BRiDE.BM.FRiEND.BM. LOVES.

...and a free pitcher of margaritas because we are cool like that. OH YAH!

and the boys were in Tahoe, too. so happy they met up with us.

...i'm super lucky to have a man who actually enjoys hanging out with me and my friends.

=P



best.one.ever.

I had my bridal shower last weekend, and I must say, it was the best.bridal.shower...ever! And I'm not just saying that because it was being thrown for me. Joc & Mary picked out the PERFECT invitations ;). Caroline did a fabulous job with the games. So creative! And I loved the props. Tiff and Stevi put together the cutest favors. Thank you ladies so much. I can't wait for the bachelorette weekend coming up on the 8th. And then work bridal shower on the 17th. And then the big day in 20 days! Ahhh!

Bride & most of the bridesmaids: Car, Mar, Me, Tiff, Joc (missing Stevi)

MOH, M.o.B, Bride. <3

Ahhhh can't wait. =)

21 days!

...as of today. And as of yesterday, 10 years of dating. It hasn't been easy. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, break-ups, and make-ups...you get the drift. But somehow we've always managed to find our way back to each other.

I truly love that little bastard =)

And so it begins...

Last night was Mertled & Daniel's wedding. She looked beautiful and the ceremony and reception were just as beautiful. It was an honor to be there.

It's a little blurry. Sorry.

Their wedding was the last one that we have before ours. Hence the title. The countdown is on. 1 month.

....I am thrilled!

Someone made a comment to me that I should start helping other brides plan weddings because I am so creative and organized. If someone had asked me this last year, I would have laughed in his or her face. But I thought about it last night and didn't want to cringe. The thought of doing this professionally (well, on the side) actually sounds good to me. I feel that through this whole process I have learned so much and have a lot to share with others. It's just something to think about I guess. Let me get my own done first before I start taking on others.

It would be nice, however. My life for the past 10 months have been either work or wedding planning. After it's all over, I may shrivel up and die. I may need another project. Or 4. I have the house which is always an on-going project. But I need something more. I don't know. Stay tuned.

Weddings and...motherhood?

Tomorrow I'm thrilled to say that I get see Nga, one of my work BFFs, get married. She has to get up at 530 in the morning to start getting ready. Since we are coming from Tracy and the ceremony is at 1030 in Los Gatos, I joke with her that I will be getting up just as early as she is. This will be wedding #1 of 3 in the next 3 months.

So in honor the bride, here's one of my favorite pictures from her work bridal shower that we had for her last month.

Melissa, Tricia, Nga. So gangsta. Love them.

Motherhood. Not quite ready for that just yet. And I just got reminded of that. The other day my mom and I met up with my brothers, Vic and Tino, and the twins, Isabel and Ismael, to shop for their wedding outfits. Monica (their momma) couldn't come because she was working. We decide to eat lunch first because the kids just got out of myGym and were starving. Yeah, trying to feed 2 three-year olds is NOT fun...especially when YOU'RE starving and daddy is on the other side of the table eating his lunch because the kids want to sit next to you. Plus they are jumping all over the place.

After lunch we head all over the mall to at least 4-5 stores. The kids are tired at this point and don't want to walk anymore. And they're getting big. Enter Auntie Tricia holding Isa because honestly, Izzy is just toooo big for me to carry up and down the mall. And Uncle Tino's back hurts. And I'm not letting mom carry them, either. And it's hot. And I didn't eat all my lunch. So I'm hungry, hot, and cranky. Since my brothers came, I was the one that had to take each kid into the dressing rooms. Clothes off and on...clothes they don't like. And then the meltdowns begin. Isa doesn't like this dress...she wants this one because "that dress doesn't look like a wedding dress." And Izzy doesn't want to wear a dress shirt. He wants to wear a Spiderman shirt. I tell him he can wear it under his dress shirt like Superman does and he can take it off after we take pictures. He screams "no". And "no" again. And "no" a few more times...each time louder and louder. And daddy doesn't spank the kids, although he needs to. After 3 hours of this, we finally find their outfits. THANK GOODNESS.

Then I come home to two dogs following me everywhere. I can't even walk without tripping over them. So I'm tired, still hungry, still hot, more cranky, and now frustrated.

I'm going to be that mom that shakes her kids...I tell my mom. She just laughs.

No, I really won't. But I easily get frustrated and impatient. I think I should start working on this now since Kee and I decided that we will start trying for a little one at the end of 2011. Happy, Car? haha I can still be preggo in the summer...just really big at that time.

But my point...soooo not ready to be a mom at this time. I can barely handle my dogs. The end.

New beginnings...

Yes, a new blog! Why? Well first of all, I have a gmail account and got extremely annoyed with having to sign out of my email in order to access my blog. I couldn't change my email with my other blog, so, well...here we are. Thank you for following along.

And really because there are so many new things coming up in my life that I just wanted to start over. And Mrs Inglis inspired me. I hope that's all right with you. If you haven't already, update your links.

With this blog, I want to try and post more meaningful things, not just random crap. I mean, random crap will still make an appearance, but I want to post more pictures and actually have things that are read-worthy. We will see how long this lasts.

For starters, here are some of my most favorite pictures from mine and Keenan's engagement session with Brittany DeWester. I found out about her through by co-worker, Andi. Brittany is an amazing photographer and so fun. I'm really glad we chose her to photograph our wedding day. We felt so at ease with her during the engagement session...I cannot wait to see how the wedding day photos will turn out. Enjoy!